I was consulting my doctor this week and talking with him, he told me that on average, 5 out of 25 patients a day come for issues of moral harassment and abuse of power at workplace. Scaring !
I was personally in a situation of moral harassment. I decided to denounce and leave. But when I left, it was without rancor, the heart light and without bitterness. I give you here how I arrived at this state of emotional liberation.
1. Surround yourself
Talk to your family, friends, doctor. It is important for those around you to know what is going on because experiencing a situation of harassment or abuse of power has an impact on our relatives. Our behavior changes and they feel it.
2. Free yourself
Write down everything you feel, what you want to say or do and that is not acceptable on paper and without reading it again, throw it in the trash or burn it.
3. Come back to the rational
Write the facts, people, dates and keep this document.
Are you blamed for not being good enough-e-, not communicating well enough, being too much this or not enough?
Okay, but concretely what does that mean? Have you been given specific examples?
If this is not the case, ask for rational and objective facts.
4. Connecte to yourself
Come back to you, your skills, your know-how, your values, your needs, everything you love and that makes you feel good. Remember your successes, your accomplishments, what you are proud of.
What counts here is to keep one’s self-esteem and self-confidence intact. They can keep you away from the effects of these “harassers”.
5. Go higher, further back, deeper
All that happens is sayings, acts. They do not represent the people who are behind it. In front of you, you have people probably clumsy, in distress, who do not know how to do differently.
You’re certainly in a nefarious dysfunction-s-, in the eye of the hurricane, and if you look around, you’re probably not the only one.
It is probably not personal.
Those who we consider to be harassers certainly (and this is hard to believe and to welcome) have a good reason to do all this from their point of view.
We are all looking for balance and to alleviate tensions. Good intention directed towards ourself is legitimate and we do not always measure the consequences on the others.
Have you ever thought, “Why did I say this? Why did I do that?” Was it really you?
What you will do with this situation – nothing, denounce, ask for a mediation, negotiate a job in another department, negotiate a departure, resign – belongs to you and each option will be the right since it will be yours.